Today I went to San Francisco with my mother for another doctor's appointment, because my mom thought I had scabies. Well, she didn't really think it, but it always ended up being the loudest thing she said. She's such a nutter. I'm such a different person around her, I have to hide everything about myself out of the fear that the if I slip and say something silly like, "Wouldn't it be cool to be a dolphin trainer?" she'll go around to EVERYONE and be like, "OH YES MY DAUGHTER, YOU KNOW MY DAUGHTER? YES, HEATHER CHRISTINA MILTON, SHE WANTS TO BE A DOLPHIN TRAINER. SHE TOLD ME THAT! SHE REALLY DOES."
Okay, that's a bit exaggerated, but my mom really does do that. It drives me nuts.
Anyways, afterwards she had to do something at her hospital so we went there and sat in the cafeteria. She kept talking about money, money, money and while it was an informative conversation on my end I just couldn't help but feel totally helpless. I've been so set on an English major because... I can write. I don't know who started that stupid rumor. Probably me. For a long time I just went "Blah blah I love english/books/etc" and I guess everyone assumed that since I like it so much I must be a good writer.
Sitting amongst all those young, intelligent, hard-working doctors and the like, I kind of realized I don't want to live my life as a slacker. I want to be like them, smart and clean and doing something they love. I want to go to school learning how to have a job that's tangible, something that I can always know and always take with me. I don't want to waste four years of time and money to realize that, wait, you won't hire me even though I've memorized all epic poems ever written since 400AD?!
I wish somebody would walk into my room and say, "Heather, major in this and get a job here. It will pay you well, be tolerable and at times fulfilling, and everything will be okay." It seemed like all my mom could focus on when I was asking about how she liked being a nurse was my lack of the ability to handle stress and get shit done. Just because I'm lazy at home and generally ignore most of the attempts my parents make to boss me around. I can do things. I like to be busy and working so hard I don't have to think about it. I mean, my parents always see me in my pajamas, but they know I would never wear pajamas to school or work. Why can't my mom understand that logic doesn't just apply to how I dress?
Today my mom introduced me to a physician assistant who was, of course, pretty and clean and she told me about her job a bit. It sounded better than being a nurse or a doctor, so it's a start, but I still have to decide whether or not I have the guts to look at people's bloody sores and clean their bedpans.
Haha, no, I do get outside. I swear. I go on runs, which I really do enjoy even though I tend to have trouble getting out the door sometimes. Last night I went on a run and the sun was setting into all that smoke and the air was still and just the right temperature for running and even though I had to park at school to avoid Craig Stern it was lovely. I just ran down Novato boulevard towards the Cheese factory, and at one point I just stopped and held my breath. No cars, no cows, no nothing, just me. It was a wonderful moment, seeing myself all alone in that big open space. I could live in that place and never see a house again and be perfectly happy.
In reality, though, I spend a lot of my time at home. I like it that way. My mom always talks about how we're all homebodies in my house like it's a bad thing. It's up to me to decide whether the life I'm living is a successful life. If that means collecting junk food in my room and never coming out for the next ten years, what's it to you, Mom?
Whatever, she tries. She's just one of those people who can only see everything how it could be better, not how good it is now. It's not like I'm really that big of a homebody, either. Well, I am, but when I was up in Crescent City and that area, I hardly wanted to sit around long. It really just depends on the people I'm with. I'm always worrying about what so-and-so will think when they realize I'm this or that way, and then I kind of realize that if I'm so worried by the time I run into them again I'll have molded myself to be neater, kinder, more energetic, whatever it is.
In other news, I passed my AP English and AP Photo exams. AP Bio... not so much. Hahaha.
Oh, and I found my camera... Like, ten minutes after I wrote that post. It was in my bag, too. Story of my life.
Lately...I've been going ga-ga over Givenchy. From the auburn lipstick to their chain necklaces, I've seriously become entranced. I think I've found a new favorite designer :O
]]>-red cardigan, Target
-System of a Down band tee, Hot Topic gift from Greek Oracle (I cut the collar off because it was hella ugly)
-black skirt, Ann Taylor (I pulled it up to make it a mini skirt =3 how convenient)
-plum-colored stockings, Gap
-gold flats, TargetNote: I'm getting tired of flats...I mean, my gold ones are very comfortable and can go with practically any outfit, but it really lacks "oomph" most of the time. I totally imagine this outfit would be full of win if I had those Nine West Sulliban sandals (<3!)
-bowtie neckalce, gift from Bagel
-gold cross, Symone's Reconciliation gift :P
-Pirates of the Carribean skull, Disneyland
-tear drop necklace, Forever 21 (I think...)
-stud cuff
-wooden bead bracelet, DIY
-Our Lady of Guadalupe bracelet, some random Catholic churchNotes: I've been really feelin' the stud cuff lately. Before, I thought it was a real juvenile thing to wear...but I actually think it's a nice addition to a girly outfit if worn not so...kiddish-ly? I can't even think of the right word, but I've been wearing my cuff a lot lately (even to work).
Notes: Crappy picture...but with red lips! I've been more open to lipstick lately, thanks to my mom =3 Oh yeah, and sporting the glasses (which I never do, much to Dii's dismay). I really do like these frames, but I'd like a change since I've had them for a couple of years (all of high school for sure.) But...even though I'll get new frames, I'll probably still put new prescriptions in these haha.
My bag from my Ninong that I got a couple Christmas' ago...I don't know why I never liked it until now :D It used to have all of these beads attached to the bottom, but I cut them off, tied the end and made a bracelet out of the beads! (see picture above!)
What I carry in my bag...Woah, I just noticed that my phone's not in this picture. :P
-Wet Ones hand wipes (you can never be too clean!)
-Hello Kitty wallet (I really want a new hinge wallet...)
-planner that I can't live without and Dii wants to burn to pieces
-white DS and Poke'mon Emerald game (remember...this is still the purse of a gamer :D)
-Cherry Blossom hand lotion (my hands get dry so easily...)
-Lip Boxom by Benefit=love (I really like the tingly feeling I get right after I put it on ^_^)
-crap load of quarters that just get thrown in my bag
Oh, and next Friday I'm getting my haircut before the Breaking Dawn party and the BISF Tourney...
Uhhh. Yeah. I'm going Victoria Beckham =3
shoes, Nine West $60
top, Forever 21
Dickies shorts, Tilly's
Givenchy lipstick, Sephora
ring, Forever 21
bangles, Forever 21
bracelet, Forever 21
glasses, American Apparel
I am dying to have the Nine West shoes...Not only are they on sale, but they'd look sooooo oishii with skinny jeans. I'm tired of flats...UGH. Normally I'm not really for the gladiator-ish style, but these are just...something else. Everything in the outfit above, aside from the shoes, are things that I'd like to have, but I don't care much for.
I would also really like some leopard print tights and a faux leather jacket. Le sigh... I know that I want those things, but I can't seem to find the style that I really want. Oh! And I finally found my ankle boots! YAY! I'll take a picture of those later...
CUTIE-KUN can't end a post without it being nerdy so...
My Poke'mon Emerald game is pissing me the fuck off! I can't find this goddamn Nosepass in the Granite Cave! ARG!
I want to catch them all (hahaha)...so I can't give up!
I...need...to...shop...GAHHHHHHH! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!
*calls Greek Oracle*
]]>I took these pictures two days ago, and I can't be lazy anymore...here are my lovely and growing bento supplies:
I don't think I could get anymore Asian XD. Bagel, ML and Gao stared at me in utter pitty as I squealed while shopping for my new bento supplies. Le sigh...I can't wait to make lunches for my sister when school starts, hahaha! OH! And I can't wait to make Dii a bento using my new bunmy egg mold (first picture). I'm sure he'd like that, due to his obsession with bunnies...
My man's manlier than yours O_O
]]>Grahh I'm back.. It was a lot of fun as always, but I was ready to come home and actually do some laundry and take a really good shower after ten days of nonstop camping/river swimming. My family's great though. Humboldt orientation was pretty cool, too, though I didn't really talk to anyone. My cousin Alexis and I were hanging out, and we're alike in the fact that we both don't say something unless we have to.
One thing that sucked was on our last night of camping, I lost my camera. Keeping in mind I've never really had anyone close to me die before, it was a really devastating loss. Even though they're just things, the things I care about tend to take on a personality in my mind, and I feel the same sympathy for them as I do for people at times. It's nuts, but my camera was like, one of my closest thing-friends. I loved it.
Anyways, I had some awesome pictures, but I lost them. Oregon is officially evil when it comes to my cameras. The two rolls I took there last year came up blank, and then this year it took my camera alltogether. I used to like Oregon, if not only for its salt water taffy, but I don't think we can be friends anymore.
I wish I had batteries for my camera...I want to take a picture of my outfit and all of the cute bento stuff I got today at Japantown ^_^
I guess I'll describe these things as best as I can...as lame as it is.
My outfit today:
black fedora, Lids $20
cargo pants, Target $20
plain light blue tank, Old Navy
black vest with wavy trimming, DIY (originally a cropped jacket from Target...I just cut the sleeves off =3)
skull necklace, Disneyland (Pirates of the Caribbean!)
gold tear drop necklace, Forever 21
bow necklace, gift from friend
brown beaded bracelet, DIY (cut off breads from my Stamp 10 bag)
Chinese charm bracelet, Pampanga, Philippines
Our Lady of Guadalupe bracelet, random church
Stamp 10 bag, gift from uncle
I wore a lot more jewelry than usual...I guess it's an inspiration by Lulu (gah! love her!) To be honest...she's really been influencing the way I dress lately. Actually, just the chictopians of Chictopia in general. (Thanks a lot Tea-chan for getting me obsessed with that website! >:[ ) I've been wearing my tights a lot more, craving for some oxfords (actually I always have been thanks to Hanadan), tucking in my shirts more and being more accepting of loose clothes. I can't understand why I've always worn my clothes so tight now...I honestly want to raid a man's closet :X No joke. I am seriously lusting over Lulu's Marni heels and a beige colored fedora. Le sigh...Thank goodness I have a job now. XD
Okay! So as for bento, I bought two more pink straps, silicon-heart shaped containers, food sticks and egg molds. I definitely need to take a picture of my new egg molds! I got a bear, bunny, car and fish. I honestly think the fish is the cutest, but Dii is (of course) very partial towards the bunny XD I can't wait to use them!
Didn't really Smash today. Got raped by Dii. Of course. Fuck his agro-Marth and his fucking chain grabs and fairs...UGH! Ah well...I'm still omghellamuthafukkin' in love with him<3
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