WHY?WHY? WHY???

nobody@vox.com(Maria Rotten) — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 00:33:23 -0700

gingerpubs: jesus camp. what teh fuck are you thinking?
SomeLowLife65: i need 5 credits
SomeLowLife65: damn u find out about my buissness quick
gingerpubs: leave it to christine.
SomeLowLife65: yeaa for real
SomeLowLife65: what u been up to
gingerpubs: doesn't that go agains the whole seperation of church and state?
gingerpubs: typing up a research paper which is now officially late on a book i already read
SomeLowLife65: not really cause its volunteer
SomeLowLife65: and i get 5 credits for 5 days
SomeLowLife65: which makes it tolerable
SomeLowLife65: fuckhw
gingerpubs: well thats legit.
gingerpubs: hopefully they don't brainwash.
gingerpubs: the fucking paper is worth 350pts and i have a 63% in the class.
SomeLowLife65: just sleep with the techer
SomeLowLife65: let them brainwash i cna just fuck with them
SomeLowLife65: imma tell my crew of youngins that if they disobey me then they will all burn in hell for all of eternity
gingerpubs: haha
gingerpubs: or you can pretend you're possesed and they can perform an exorcism
SomeLowLife65: hah
SomeLowLife65: yeah
gingerpubs: start twitchign and all wtih foam comign out your mouth.
SomeLowLife65: ill spit peas at them
gingerpubs: hey i'd volunteer just to see the sight of that.
SomeLowLife65: heh
SomeLowLife65: yea
SomeLowLife65: u going to san marins prom?
gingerpubs: i dont know yet why
SomeLowLife65: idk just wondering
SomeLowLife65: well im tired as fuck
SomeLowLife65: and i have to do hella shit tommorow that i dont want to
SomeLowLife65: peaCe
SomeLowLife65 signed off at 12:23:30 AM.

He had to ask about prom. why? out of all things. prom...really now? oh yeah and the abruptness in signing off afterwards. whyyyyyyyyyyy?

gahhh i hate having feelings....fine fucking feelings for him there i admitted it.

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Senioritis to the Maximus

nobody@vox.com(Maria Rotten) — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 21:40:44 -0700

This week has to be the most crucial and hectic of my entire senior year yet i've been taking it really lightly. i just don't feel like stressing over things i usually do. i think part of it is due to the fact that i'm not even really caring about either the AP or the English paper. it's like BERB you can seriously you can go suck your own nuts at this point cuz mine are dried out from this entire year having you, and i don't feel as passionate to write a paper like i would last year seeing i felt i was actually doing something important and wellworth my time and effort. AP photo is a fucking joke. i feel so fucking unprepared and at this point im freaking about meeting their own fucking standards rather than whether they like my work or not. i just feel bad about the 30 or so dollar fee my parents are paying for :(

Prom is coming up. SHIT that's all i gotta say. in a perfect world i'd wanna go and get a really cute dress and uber cute shoes and have this amazing skin complexion all over my body and i wouldn't be as hairy and i'd be going with all my favorite people ever and we'd all have amazing dates who all get along and go in hella old school nice cars and have a great time and party like its no tomorrow after the dance....only here's the reality:
I feel torn about going cuz i don't wanna go through the whole ordeal of finding a dress big enough for my ginormous body. spending a bunch of money, convincing and making sure i'll have people to go with. attempt to find a date cuz it would be nice to go w/ a guy, too bad it'd be awkward cuz i have the worst 2 left feet ever. i don't feel like making an ass of myself around people i don't get along with. it just feels like too much of a forced effort. the funny part is that i'd totally go to Novato High's prom due to the fact i wouldn't know anyone there and not give abig a shit.

i ran into spencer morris today during 4th and i asked him if he'd like to go to dinner w/ anna and myself next weekend and he was down. i asked him if he was gonna go to prom and he said yeah most likely. i asked him if he had a date i suggested if he didn't have one that we should go and he said yeah, maybe he wasn't sure if he wanted to go though it was more like his friends were going, he assumed he would too.

see fucking shit i actually asked and seeing him and i go way back and he's a big sweetheart even then it's like shit dood do "I" even wanna go....blehhhh

part of me wants to go with a specific person but im too old fashioned and shy to ask, so i'd rather not.

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WHY?WHY? WHY???

Senioritis to the Maximus